Y’all, I’d be willing to bet money that I’m one of the laziest people you know. So, when Coty suggested that we tack on Disney to our volleyball tournament in Orlando, I was less than thrilled. Disney with Coty means 20,000+ steps per day. Outside. With crowds. Stupid people. Scooters. Strollers. Snotty nosed children. In the heat. I am not outdoorsy, y’all and the only shape I’ve ever been in is ‘round’. I work from home and my desk is strategically placed 5 steps from my side of the bed. Likewise, it is 29 steps to the kitchen, 27 if I walk with purpose. It is 35 steps to grab my favorite VT cup and only 33 to pour a refill. It is 13 steps to the WC in our master bath and a whopping 40 to get to the garage and into my car. There are 16 stairs up to our second floor of our house and I avoid them like the plague. Walking is one thing; walking and climbing is a whole different ball game! #idontrun #hellibarelywalk #keepingmystepsaround100perday
Sometimes, family vacations are hard. Let’s face it: there is more togetherness during this time period than during your normal, everyday life. And, although I love my little family dearly, I was ready to get home — to get Coty back to work and the girls back to school. (After all, I have much Netflix to catch up on!) Enter COVID-19. Continuing Our Vacation Is Dangerous. Contemplating Over Vodka Indefinitely Desired. Cursing Our Volume Inside Daily. The CDC can tell us that COVID is an acronym for Corona Virus Disease, but, in all reality, my definitions are more appropriate and certainly more accurate.
Homeschooling has begun at Casa de las Muehes and we aren’t exactly off to a strong start. It’s Day 2, and Meredith has already admitted that she misses school. (I’ll be sure to remind her of these days when we get back to school next month). During a lull in real estate a few years ago, Coty suggested I get a job as a substitute teacher to, uh, give me “something constructive to do with my time” (translation – not sit around and online shop all day). Y’all, I barely like my own kids. Can you imagine *me* in a room full of disrespectful little assholes? I’d be on the five o’clock news for sure! Here’s how homeschooling is going for my two:
- I don’t habla the Espanol.
- That’s not algebra 1, that’s algebra 2. Keep arguing.
- Do you know how long it’s been since I took Anatomy & Physiology? I’m sure it’s changed since then.
- Fortunately, for you, I never took statistics.
- I slept through every social studies class I ever sat in and I’d fail any geography test of places outside the US or UK.
- I never met an English class I liked.
- I played oboe, yo; not percussion.
I survived *two* maternity leaves; so, surely I can do this? At least, I’m not making bottles and changing diapers this time around. Have faith in yourselves, y’all. But, more importantly, get the nearest liquor store before they get shut down, too! #priorities #keepyourtp #mamaneedsvodka