Y’all, *I* am a memorable person. Between my dynamic use of sarcasm and my cherub-like demeanor, I’m a goddam joy to be around. Today, someone that I’ve met on *multiple* occasions introduced themself to me. Holding out their hand, “hi, I’m blah, blah, blah”. (And, yes, that is exactly what I heard; I tuned their ass right out when they started with an introduction). Then, as I extended my own hand, I heard myself say, “yeah, I know; we’ve met several times!” <enter awkward silence> Now, normally, in this type of situation, I do a better job of holding my tongue. Well, not today, bitches; my darker side shone through. It is the season of giving and that’s what I had to give today. I should mention that I’m not a fan of this person (y’all know I don’t like people) and nearly gagged up my morning coffee when they approached. When I left, I heard them say in a fake-ass voice, “bye, Susan!” and I cheerfully replied “Merry Christmas!” and then mumbled under my breath, “Kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah”. #asshat #dontactlikeyoudontknowme #happyfuckingholidays